It was two days before Christmas.
I was leaving the dentist office.
I had tears brimming in my eyes.
And in that moment of weakness, I said aloud, "Why can't things just go right?"
On all accounts I had felt that the past week or so of my life hadn't been going right. I had just finished up one of the hardest weeks of teaching in my ten year career. My school babies were sick, and despite how hard I tried to keep them safe, the sickness spread like wildfire. If it wasn't the flu, it was the tummy bug, and if it wasn't the tummy bug, it was a yucky virus. In fact, if you happened to see me during that last week of school, I had Sheriff Woody's expression on my face pretty much every second of the day.
Yep. I was worried and with good reason. I just wanted all of my kiddos to have a healthy, happy Christmas at home. I wanted my co-workers to feel well and enjoy their break. I wanted to keep my family safe from germs. I just wanted everything to be right, and when things happened differently, it was hard to wrap my mind around at first.
You see....
My right didn't include the last words that I got to say to my students before Christmas break to be, "I think I have the flu. I'm going to have to leave. Don't worry, you'll still get to have your party. I love you. Merry Christmas."
My right didn't include exposing my family to the flu on the day before Christmas break.
My right didn't include missing our annual Christmas get together with part of Jody's family.
My right didn't include my poor dad, who never gets sick, coming down with the flu and unknowingly exposing the boys to it.
My right didn't include my sweet sister and her whole family getting sick.
My right didn't include canceling our Christmas Eve celebration with my parents, sister, and brother.
My right didn't include stressing over finding a pharmacy that had Tamiflu for my babies.
My right didn't include worrying about Rowan as he gagged and threw up his Tamiflu.
My right didn't involve a hurting permanent crown.
My right didn't involve a yucky sinus infection on top of the flu.
My right didn't include worrying whether or not we'd get to have Christmas with my husband's family.
And then, on Christmas Eve, as my crown began to feel better, my antibiotics for my sinus infection started to kick in, and my boys kept their flu symptoms at bay, I realized something.
Maybe my right, wasn't right after all.
Sometimes it is so easy to get caught up in the really crummy parts of life, and sadly, it's often easier than seeing the good. Today I remembered that I am not alone. I remembered that my life is apart of a plan, and though I may not always understand, it was created with the soul purpose of giving me hope and happiness.
It could have been worse. I could have gotten the flu much later in the week and not enjoyed watching my boys experience the magic of Christmas morning, but I will. I could have not been able to reschedule our Christmas get together with my family, but everyone is flexible and we will. I could have continued to have a raging tooth ache, but I didn't. I could have suffered more with my sinus infection, but I felt better. I could have not found the Tamiflu for the boys, but I did.
And those things. Those things are the true right. Those things are my God, keeping me safe, and loving me through the storm.
This morning, the boys and I sat on a towel in the middle of the living room, watching Frosty the Snowman, and eating popsicles. I said, "You know what boys? God is good."
"Yep," said Jack.
"Uh-huh," said Rowan.
And that's what's right.
