Love is a Choice

You may have already heard this by now, but if you haven't, November is National Adoption Month.  As someone who was given the gift of adoption as a young child, and who also has friends who are currently in the adoption process, adoption is a subject that is very close to my heart.  While on the surface, adoption may look or feel a whole lot different than having a biological child, it's actually not.  

To me, adoption comes down to one simple choice:  Love.  

When I was eleven months old, my sweet family took me into their home.  No, I did not share my mom's pretty, olive skin.  Nor did I share my brother's tall height, or my sister's wavy hair, or my dad's green eyes.  Quite frankly, I didn't even share their blood.  

But here's what I often wonder:  Is blood what really equals love?

You see, as a mom, I love my children; and when they make a poor choice, I choose to love them still.

As a wife, I love my husband; and when we drive each other crazy, I choose to love him still.

As a sibling, I love my brother and sister; and we disappoint each other, I choose to love them still.

As a daughter, I love my parents; and when we disagree, I choose to love them still.  

As a teacher, I love my students; and when we have a difficult day in the classroom, I choose to love them still.
   

And if I don't do all of these things out of blood alone, then why do I do them?

Well......

It's because love is a conscious choice that I must make on a daily basis.  

While love may come natural with those who you are around most, it's only lasting if you choose it to be, and it's true power is only magnified when both sides come to the same decision. 

Recently, Rowan had to "go to the corner" for hitting his brother.  After his time out had finished, we hugged and he asked, "Are you happy now, Mommy?" My first reaction was one of guilt.  I felt awful that he knew he had disappointed me, and he was worried that I would still be upset.  Of course, I told him that even though his choice made me sad, I still love him.  I will always choose to love him, even when he makes mistakes, and I pray that he will choose to love me in return.  
   
After all, I'm certainly not perfect, and sometimes I make poor decisions that flat out disappoint the Lord above.  But do you know what's really amazing?  

God chooses to love me anyway.  

In fact, He even gives me a choice to love Him in return.  And do you know when I feel truly happy?  When my heart is full and my life is well?  

When I choose to love Him back.  

So today, during this month of adoption and thanksgiving, I encourage you, whether it be your child, your parent, your spouse, or your friend, remember that love is a choice.  Remember that even when you don't deserve it, you receive it, and remember that you'll add more to this world when you choose to give it in return.  

One day, I pray that my own family is called to adopt, and if we are, we will choose love.   

Nine

October 14th will mark nine years that Jody and I have been married.  

NINE years!  

Where in the world has the time gone?  It literally seems like yesterday that we were twenty-two years old, getting married and wondering what the rest of our lives would look like together.  Over the years, we have definitely learned that life is full of surprises--both the good, and the wow, we've got to look at this really closely to see if we can squeeze a blessing out of it kind.  But no matter what, I think we can both look back and say that we're glad we've had each other to get through each and every event that life has thrown our way.  So today, I want to share with you why I'm so blessed to call Jody my husband.  

He Makes Me Stronger

"You're a Wilson.  You've got this."  

If I had a dollar for every time I've heard those words, I'd be one rich lady. Jody is constantly reminding me that I'm stronger and worthier than I think, and it's his constant encouragement that pushes me to be my best.  Sometimes I think that if I didn't have him by my side, I just might procrastinate forever.  Year Nine is going to be a big one for us, simply because he's always encouraged me to acknowledge my strengths and pursue my dreams.      

He's My Number One Fan

If there is one thing I can depend on Jody to be, it's supportive.  Whether it be with teaching, writing, or parenting, Jody always has my back.  He reminds me of what a great teacher I am on days when I'm not feeling so spiffy, he helps me remember that all of this writing will be worth it in the end, and he thinks that I am a wonderful mom and teammate in raising our boys.  Everyone needs that one special person who they can count on no matter what, and I'm so lucky that Jody is that person for me.   

He's Hardly Ever Serious (Like Ever)

And believe it or not, it's one of my favorite things about him.  He always knows how to take a crazy situation and turn it into something to laugh about.  Now, don't get me wrong.  Every now and then, when I'm sharing something particularly serious, I do have to give him my for real, though, look. And I'd say that at least 3 out of 10 times he'll straighten up and try to get real serious, real quick.  It's a livable percentage.       

He Cracks Me Up

Now, Jody has always made me laugh, but I do have to say that he's gotten even funnier as we've aged.  Of course, it may just be because he has so much good material to pull from in our eventful, little life; but either way, I'm thankful for his laughs, and they always seem to come at just the right time.  Like that day when our potty-training sessions didn't get off on quite the right start and he said that he wished we had four-year-old girls who were already potty-trained.  Or the fact that he always says "That's What She Said" jokes that make absolutely no sense because he knows that it annoys me.  I promise it's not funny at all.  (But, shhhhh, it really is.)      

He Isn't Perfect

And neither am I!  Of course there are going to be days when we can't agree on anything and drive each other crazy.  That's a part of any normal, healthy relationship.  The important thing is that no matter how much we may disagree, we can always agree on one thing:  we love each other.  

Just last night, Jody reminded me of a conversation that we had a few weeks after we first started dating.  He had said to me, "You know, I think you are the kind of person I could see spending the rest of my life with."  And I said, "You know what?  I was just thinking the same thing."  

And ever since, we've been more than content to be perfectly imperfect together. 

I love you, Jody.

One of my favorite pictures of the four of us.

My Hands Are Full, But So Is My Heart

It's official!  

The boys and I have made it through our first full week of summer together, and though it seemed like the longest week ever, it couldn't have been better!  

You see, the boys like to keep busy, so on most days we are here and there and everywhere in-between.  It's rare that a day ever passes when we don't get out, and when we do, we always meet lots of sweet people who stop us on our excursions.  Whenever we meet someone new, there are usually two questions that I get asked, and they always come in the exact same order.

Are they twins?  

Followed by. . .

Wow!  I bet you have your hands full, right?

And of course, my answer to both of those questions is always yes!  Even on the easiest of days, my hands are full.  Jack and Rowan are two spunky, going on three-year-olds, and they're the only reason I can still eat sweets and not gain weight.      

In the past week, we've gone to the park four times, met sweet friends for lunch, had our first restaurant experience with just the three of us, watched a magic show at the library, used up all of our sidewalk chalk, rode our bikes, adventured to Walmart several times, picked out toys at the dollar store, and splashed in our kiddie pool (again...and again....and again).  

And of course, all of these events involve lots of running and lifting and long, drawn out breaths.  As with any child, nothing is ever as easy as it seems, even if it does all magically work out in the end.  Reflecting back over this week, I can't help but think about our trip to the library, and how I was a tad stressed because we were running late.  When we finally arrived, we were greeted with a full parking lot, and the boys immediately burst into tears because they thought we wouldn't be able to park the car.  So, Mommy made the decision to make her own parking space, because come tickets or towed vans, her boys were going to see that magic show.  We ended up squeezing into the packed room just in time, and the boys sat for an amazing forty-five minutes to watch tricks that they really didn't understand, but enjoyed clapping for anyway.  When we finally snuck out a few minutes early, we were relieved to find my van still there, waiting on us to come rescue her from her illegal escapades.

Or there was that time on Friday when I cut my eye, and we all took off to the eye doctor so he could fix me up.  So there we were, me, Jack, and Rowan, all stuffed into the little exam room while my understanding doctor took a look at my eye.  Thankfully I still have my massive stroller, and the boys sat nicely in their seats and asked random questions while the doctor tried to concentrate.  

"Is that man your friend, Mommy?"

"Mommy, what's that man doing to your eyeball?"

"Mommy, what's that doctor's name?"

"It's dark in here, Mommy.  I can't see.  Can you see, Mommy?"  

"Hey Mommy, I got your keys out of your purse (giggle, giggle)."

"Uh-oh (giggle, giggle), I deleted a picture on your phone, Mommy."

When we were finished, my doctor smiled, patted me on the shoulder, and told me I have lots of patience.  And then he asked, "Are they twins?"  

But maybe the moments that I remember the most are the usual, mundane ones that happen right here at home.  Like those times when I'm having a serious conversation with one of my boys about not doing who knows what, only to look over his shoulder to find his brother sporting a wild grin and doing exactly what I've just asked said boy not to do.   (Insert long, drawn out breath----->here)

Yes, there are times when the days seem long, and I know I'd be lying if I said every second of our day is perfect.  But when I tuck them in at night, and I think back on all of the crazy things we accomplished, I can't help but smile.  It also helps that Rowan ends every day and begins every morning by saying, "It's a good day, Momma."  

Yes, I know I am tired, but more importantly, I know I am blessed.  

So, when we went to the dollar store late last week, and a nice older man came up to us as we held hands and crossed the parking lot, I already knew what he was going to say.  In fact, I smiled and looked forward to it.  

"Well, would you look at that," he said.  "Are they twins?"

"They sure are.  Two years old.  Jack and Rowan."

"Whew!  I bet your hands are full."

And so I said what I'll say every time from now on:

"My hands are full, but so is my heart."  

I Hope You Know

The day was an absolutely, positively good day.  

We had gone to Stone Mountain, and the boys got to experience their first train ride.  We made perfect timing in everything we did.  Every line was short; every event went off without a hitch.  

We couldn't have been happier.

That very night when we were putting the boys to bed, we talked about our day.  We asked them to name their favorite part, and of course, they loved the "choo choo."  

It was then that Jody looked at me and jokingly said, "They probably won't even remember it tomorrow."  

I smiled with the understanding that while they are excited now and will remember it for a short time, they're still young; and this day, though it was wonderful, probably won't make it into their own special memory bank of time.

I'll remember it though.  

Later that night, when the boys were fast asleep and Jody and I were nearly passed out on the couch from the day's events, I began to think about what he had said.  

What will the boys remember when they are grown?   And if they can't remember everything, then what do I want them to know?

So, boys, as you continue to grow strong, and independent, and full of potential, there are somethings that I would like for you to carry in your heart.  

*I hope you know that you and your brother are a handful, and it's one of your greatest assets.

*I hope you know that you have an above average singing voice for a two-year-old.  Your daddy and I could listen to you sing all day, even if we can't quite understand all of the lyrics.

*I hope you know that I dream about your future, and in my heart, it's filled with only the greatest of things.

*I hope you know that the sound of you banging on the bathroom door and calling my name has always put a smile on my face.

*I hope you know that you are always so polite to employees who check us out at any kind of register.  Your, bye--see ya next time's not only make other people's day, but they give me peace knowing that you have kindness in your heart.

*I hope you know that when Daddy told me that somebody colored on the train track with a crayon, I knew was you.  I also secretly giggled.    

*I hope you know that you wake up with the sun and immediately start talking as if you haven't been at rest for the past 11 hours.  You get that from your daddy.

*I hope you know that you struggle to open your eyes in the morning, and when you do, you say, "Noooooooo.  Turn off light and go night night."  You get that from your mommy.  

*I hope you know that sometimes you can be a little stinker, but that's also apart of your charm.

*I hope you know that one of my favorite things to do is listen to you carry on imaginary phone conversations.  The people on the other end of that line sure are lucky. 

*I hope you know that you make me feel like a million bucks when you tell me that I look pretty wearing my snowflake pajama pants.  I hope you know you should tell your future wife that, too.  

*I hope you know that I've never met another two-year-old who likes to color as much as you.  I've also never met a two-year-old who is as demanding and specific about coloring as you.  "Color right there, Mommy," you say.  "No Mommy, right there," as you hover over my hand and breathe on my fingers.  I hope you know that one day I'll miss that, too.

*I hope you know that though you love your brother, my goodness, you've had your share of fights.  You prefer to bite, while you prefer to scratch like a wildcat.  Dynamic Duo.      

*I hope you know that you've got a good arm, kid.  Although your daddy and I patiently explain to you that it's not okay to say, throw an object at someone's head or the TV, we are optimistic about your future sports potential.  

*I hope you know that you're becoming fiercely independent.  "By me self, me self," you say.

*I hope you know that everything your daddy and I do, is for the good of you.  

*I hope you know that you are my heart.

You might not remember everything boys, but I do know that your experiences now will help to shape you into the person that you will become.  And in that way, maybe you really will remember everything after all.