Adoption

I always have been and always will be a person who believes that everything happens for a reason.  

I've had a story on my heart lately, though it is one that I very rarely tell.  In fact,  it's one that I hardly ever think about.  Not because I'm ashamed, or confused, or hurt; but because out of the many things that have happened throughout my life, this is something that I am completely and utterly at peace about.  

This is the story of my beginning; the story of God's will for my life. 

 This is my testimony.          

On December 12, 1983, I made what I assume was a quick and unexpected entrance into the world.  As the story goes, I was almost born in the back of a taxi cab, but ended up making it into the actual emergency room in Loveland, Colorado for delivery.  After that, the details of my first 11 months of life become a little sketchy.  I was born to a single mother, whom I can only imagine had very little.  At the time, there was a program for single mothers that offered a one-way ticket to any town that the mother wanted to go.  My birth mother had heard of some good programs in Atlanta, Georgia, so she decided that we would go there.  While in Georgia, we moved around a lot and ended up being taken in by a church in Gainesville.  The church provided housing for us, but it wasn't long before they began to notice that I had become one very sick little girl.  Malnourished, anemic, and probably more than a little fussy, I was taken into the custody of Family and Children's Services.      

While God was setting the stage and opening doors in my life, He was also working in the lives of my parents.  My mom, who was born and raised in Oregon, met and married my dad when he was stationed at the air force base in her hometown.  After having my brother, Tim, Dad was relocated to Florida.  This is where my sister, Nichele, was born.  When my dad was discharged from the Air Force, they moved around a bit, before deciding that they wanted to head back to my dad's home state of Georgia.  To pick a town, my parents laid out a map of Georgia and let their new home come down to fate, by deciding to move to the first place they put a finger on.  Of course, this place was Gainesville, Georgia.

Sometime after moving to Gainesville, my mom decided to pursue a dream of hers, which was to become a foster parent.  The day after she and my dad completed their foster parent registration, they got a phone call.  The lady at the agency said that they had an eleven month old girl who was very sick and needed to be taken in.  My mom, who is kind and loving and all things good, jumped at the opportunity.  

I will never forget the story of the first night my parents brought me home.  The whole family was excited to have a baby girl in the house, and my brother and sister had waited up to meet me when I got home.  Mom said that when we drove up to the house, Tim and Nichele had their faces pressed to the window to catch their first glimpse of the child who would later become their little sister.    

That night was the beginning of my life; the life that God intended for me to live all along.  

When my parents first brought me home, they were told that I may be with them for only a day or two.  However, it wasn't long before they were informed that this could be more of a long term situation.  It was then that my parents began the adoption process, to officially make me apart of the family, though I already was from the moment we met.  So, at the age of three, my parents put me in a cute little white dress, and we all piled in the car and headed down to the court house to complete the final paper work.  My original name was Catherine Elizabeth, but once adopted, my parents decided to change it to Catherine Lee, so that I could have a piece of my new family history.  Lee is the middle name of both my granddad and dad.  The rest, as they say, is happy history.  I have two parents who have given me the love, skill, and courage to be successful in life; I have a brother who taught me to laugh and is probably somewhat responsible for my quirky sense of humor; and I have a sister who was like another mom to me as I was growing up, and now that we're older, she's my best friend.  

For me, adoption has never seemed like a big deal.  I've known that I was adopted for so long, that I don't ever remember not knowing.  Just from my experience, I think this is the healthiest way to go about it.  For my family, adoption was never a hush-hush or taboo subject.  It was the ultimate story of love, and more than anything, God's will.  

Though I am incredibly grateful that my birth mother held on long enough to get me to my parents, I've never had any desire to meet her or learn more about my past.  I realize that I was not very well taken care of, but I've learned from experience that it's very easy to judge from the outside looking in.  I don't know all of the trials that she faced while trying to raise me, but I know that there must have been a lot of them.  I also know that for the most part, she did it alone.  Overwhelmed with raising a child or not, I can't imagine having to give up my 11 month old.  Wherever she is, I do hope that she knows she made the right decision.  I have a lot of respect for her, because she gave me a second chance.  I can't help but think that she could have given up on me long before I was even born, but she didn't.  She carried me, gave birth to me, and eventually, got me to where I belonged all along.   In my heart, I know that God was guiding her through this whole process, and I hope that she knows it was worth it.  

Thirty years later, adoption is still a topic that rarely comes up.  The only time I think about it is when I have to give information about my family's history at the doctor.  Last year when Rowan was rushed to Egleston, doctors quickly asked me all sorts of questions about my family's medical history.  I got about half way though the check list (giving my parent's history, of course) before I had to say, "Wait!  I'm sorry--I'm adopted!  I don't know my family history."  Just tonight I was talking to my grandma Simone in Oregon, and we were discussing the boys and their different personalities.  Grandma said that Rowan gets his spunk from her, and Jack gets his seriousness from Grandpa Don.  It didn't cross either of our minds that my grandparents and the boys are not actually blood-related.  The fact is, sometimes there are things much more important than blood.  All that ever really matters is the love.  Jody and I have discussed adoption as possibly being in our future one day.  From very young, I've always had it on my heart, and it's something that if given the opportunity, I'd love to pursue.  We think that Jack and Rowan would be great big brothers, but we'll just have to wait and see what things God has in store for us.  

So, that is my story, and my hope is that by telling it, I've helped someone in some way.  Understanding my adoption has always helped me to see the true power of God's love.  At the bottom, I have attached a link to a short video clip that one of my friends once posted.  This is the story one of couple's adoption of their son.  It's simply beautiful, and if you're anything like me, you'll cry big, fat ugly tears as you watch it.  Please do, because it is well worth your time.  God's plan for us is bigger than we can ever imagine.  Where we may find fault and hardship in our lives, God finds opportunity, and ultimately, our true purpose.  

Adoption Story

   

Though you know the love that I hold for you, I don't know if I've ever officially said Thank You.  I love you Mom, Dad, Tim, and Nichele, and I'm so thankful for my family.

               

  

My Numero Uno

Today is a very special day, because it is the day that I married the cereal to my bowl, the cheese to my cake, and the peanut butter to my cookie.  

The past seven years have been full of surprise, excitement, and at times, hardship; but I know without a doubt that God placed Jody and I together so that we could experience all of those blessings together.  I usually reserve blog posts to talk about the boys and their fun escapades, but today, I want to do something a little different.

I want to write about my numero uno--my husband.

When thinking about how to condense my feelings for Jody down into one little post, I decided it would be best to make a Top 11 list to describe some the reasons why he is important to me.  (I couldn't decide on just ten.)  Here they are, in no particular order.  :)

1.  Jody is a huge Georgia fan, but since we've become parents of two, he has put his game watching plans on hold for the family.  Instead of sitting back on the couch watching the game, Jody is shuttling us to our latest fool-proof event (which usually doesn't end up so fool-proof).  He does it all with a smile and is content to catch up with the game on the DVR.

2.  Jody is my number one blog fan.  He loves to read my posts, and he encourages me to write every day.  He also proof-reads every post for me, so you can thank him for any and all typos as well.  ;)

3.  If a stress-induced breakdown should ever occur, Jody is always there to calmly help me through it.  He is often the zen to my crazy.  Although, I can't say that these episodes ever happen that often.  I mean, maybe once, if that.  

4.  He is the best daddy in the world to our boys.  They love him, and he loves them more.

5.  He often surprises me by coming home with an extra cookie from Subway or my favorite soft drink.  Sometimes it's the little things and the terribly unhealthy things that make me happy.  I'm glad he knows that.

6.  He loves Downton Abbey, just like me!  He sacrificed his manhood by going into Video Warehouse on several occasions to track down season one for me.  I'm forever grateful, as this is my new all-time favorite show.

7.  He bought a minivan for me!  He actually loves it, but did admit that he probably wouldn't drive it out and about by himself.  Baby steps?

8.  He thinks I'm awesome.  Now, he doesn't always come out and tell me that, but I know that's what he's thinking.  How else could we have made it through all these years?  :)  Besides, I think he's pretty awesome, too.

9.  He is the timely to my untimely.  Sometimes, I tend to procrastinate, and he calls me on it every time.  I really like that about him.  He keeps me motivated.

10.  He says the funniest things at the some of the most eventful times (e.g. bath time, diaper changing time, getting ready for church time).  If you were to ask us how we manage to raise twins, we'd both say through laughter--lots of it!  

11.  He knows all of the words to all of my made-up songs that I sing for the boys.  Nothing sounds better than a Mommy/Daddy duo of nonsense.  

Though every day together may not be perfect, in the end Jody only wants the best for me, and I only want the best for him.  That's what will keep us going for another fifty years.

We're a good pair, the two of us.  

My three amigos, getting ready for our daily stroll

      

                  

Superstar

What a difference a year makes!

In October 2012, we had one of the biggest scares of our lives when Rowan was diagnosed with a heart condition called SVT.  I still remember almost every detail of that day, including all of the faces who crossed my path in an effort to sooth a sick little boy and his scared mommy, too.  

Ever since then, Rowan has taken medications to help to regulate his heart rate.  While we had a few little bumps in the road during this time, Rowan has really done quite well.  In fact, we think he's a superstar.  Rowan is strong, rowdy, adventurous, and then some.  There is no doubt that his experiences with SVT have led him to be the brave little boy that he is today.  

This afternoon, Rowan went to see his cardiologist for the last time.  Since June, Rowan's doctor hasn't raised his medication dosage in accordance to his weight, in hopes that Rowan would outgrow his condition.  Thankfully, Rowan hasn't had another episode of SVT, so he was given a clean bill of health!  Our little boy is officially SVT-Free!  Most babies who develop SVT at a very young age, as Rowan did, often outgrow it by the age of one.  His doctor said that there is about a 1 to 2 percent chance that Rowan will ever have to deal with another episode again.  

As Rowan's doctor was saying goodbye to us today, he said, "Well, Rowan, you are a great little guy, but I hope that I never see you again."  Rowan just smiled and very enthusiastically waved him out the door.  

This picture is of Rowan staring out the very same window that I looked out from a year ago.  Last October, I was watching for the CHOA ambulance to come and pick us up; this October, I was watching my little boy stand at the window and say, "truck!" 

We are thankful for our blessings from above!  

Bath time?

All of the baby books say that you should give your baby a bath at night as a part of his/her bedtime routine, because it is a calming and relaxing experience.  

Well if that's the case, then why does bath time at our house look like some sort of baby rave?  

I'm telling you, if only we had some flashing lights, glow in the dark pacifiers, and loud music, we'd be set!  Nothing brings out the crazy in our boys like bath time!  

Before I delve into our current bathtub escapades, I should probably give you a little back ground info on how our bath time has evolved over the past year.  

In the beginning, the boys both hated baths.  I'm talking, screaming the entire time kind of dislike.  Then, after a few months, they started to enjoy them.  They would lay back in their little rain forest bathtub hammock and innocently smile while we washed them up.  Next came the sitting up stage, when they were able to sit up by themselves and lightly splash their hands in the water.  And then, well, then came now.  

You see, our boys are on the move, and apparently they never got the memo that it's not safe to stand up and stomp like wild stallions in the tub.  While Jack holds onto the side of the tub and literally tries to run through the water, Rowan is down on his belly trying to do the breast stroke.  

During tonight's bath, Jody asked two questions:

1.  "Are normal babies like this?"

2.  "Do they make bathtub seat belts?"      

I don't know the answer to either one of those questions, but I do know that bath time always cracks us both up.  Although our every other night routine doesn't seem to calm down our kiddos, it does at least wear them out.  By the end of the evening, the boys are so tired from their romping in the tub that they quickly fall into a blissful sleep.  

Meanwhile, Jody and I are working on some solutions to our bath time craziness.  He suggested that we strap the boys in their backpack carriers and get in the shower with them.  

I'll keep you updated.   

Here are our little sweeties. . .pre-buck wildness

Guess what, Mom? We're ONE!

How in the world are Jack and Rowan one???

This weekend we celebrated the boys' first birthday.  While August 10th, 2012 was a happy, but slightly scary day for us, August 10th, 2013 was absolutely perfect!  It is amazing to me that our sweet little boys were born six weeks early, yet here they are healthy, happy, and carefree.  Although the first six months kept us on our toes (and I'm pretty sure Jody and I almost died), the second half of their year flew by!  I often wonder what life was ever like without our little guys.  Boring, and filled with way too much sleep, that's for sure!  

For Jack and Rowan's first birthday, we decided to go with the Thing 1 and Thing 2 theme.  We thought it was a pretty cute idea for twins, and the mischievous ways of the "Things" in The Cat in the Hat ring an all too familiar bell here at home.  :)  

Here we are setting up for the party while our Things take a nap.  I only have a few pictures, but our friend Jennifer from JT Photography came and took lots of awesome photos for us.  I can't wait to share those!  

Sixlets!

I borrowed the napkin idea off of some crafty soul on Pinterest.

Getting some snacks together! 

The yummy cakes

Sweet B's made the precious smash cakes and cupcakes.  

I found the frames at Walmart and painted them to match our theme. 

Thing cupcakes

I must say, I was a little worried about Jack and Rowan's reaction to waking up and finding thirty people in their house.  However, I was very pleasantly surprised!  They didn't get scared, and in fact, they seemed to really enjoy all of the attention.  The best part was watching them with their smash cakes, which by the way, did not get smashed.  They weren't too keen on the icing, and they both almost gagged when trying to taste it.  This could be good news though, as maybe they didn't inherit their mommy's sweet tooth!  They also enjoyed opening all of their cool "big boy" toys.  The look on their faces when they sat on their rider toys was priceless!  

Now that the boys are one, I'm looking forward to what this next year brings, but I also don't want time to go by too fast!  Tonight, Jody said this sentence at least four times:  

They are into everything! 

Yeah, I think I have a pretty good idea of what this next year might be like!  Let the fun begin! 

People Say the Darndest Things

I remember way back when my friend, Kelli, was expecting her first child, and she would share some of the lovely comments that often came her way.  I can still hear her warning as clear as day:  "Just wait until you're pregnant.  People say the craziest things."  

Then I was pregnant, and I found out that yes, people tend to lose their filter when they are around anyone expecting.  At my towering height of 5'2, I heard a lot of those "crazy" things.  For example, "Wow!  You look like you are about to pop!  You'll never make it!"  Or how about my most favorite, "Gosh!  You look awful!"  That last comment was actually the day before I started my five weeks of bed rest, so in a way, I guess that sweet person was at least somewhat on track.  Thankfully though, I was given full warning of these shenanigans (Thanks, Kelli!), so those people and their insensitive ways were easy to overlook.  

Unfortunately, what I didn't know is this:

Some people say/do the craziest things after you're pregnant, too.  

And this, this hurts.  

As a mom, I know I'm not perfect, but I always try my absolute best.  Although it may not be true for everyone, I like to believe that most moms feel the exact same way.  I think that every mom's experience is unique, fun, rewarding, and at times, very difficult.  In my first ten months as a mother of two, I've proudly powered through several weeks in the NICU, a week in the CICU, eight months of sleep depravation (due to around the clock doses of heart meds), and a demanding job to boot.  The funny thing is, I wouldn't give it up for the world.  I truly believe that all of these events have made me into the strong, resilient mother that I need to be to raise our fun-loving twins.

So, what's with all of these crazy people and their even crazier remarks?  

I haven't the faintest clue!

However, I do know this:  It is very easy to pass judgement when you are on the outside looking in.

I often wonder that if others had a bird's eye view of your daily interactions with your children, would they still waste their breath with snide remarks?  I would like to think not, but with some people, who knows!  I guess I've come to realize that it really doesn't matter either way.  In fact, there is only really one thing that does.

God chose me, just like He chose you, and you, and you, to be a mother of His children!

At the end of the day, others can try to bring you down, but if you love your children with all of your heart, then it's all water under the bridge.  It may take some others a while to figure this out, but they don't really matter anyway.  You're the mom, right?  :)  

Yesterday, I saw this commercial:  
Johnson&Johnson Video

Check it out!  It made me feel a lot better about things!

       

The Babies and the Boat

This weekend, the boys got to experience an extra special treat--a boat ride!  

Our sweet friends, Chet and Vickie, invited us to enjoy the day at their house on Lake Hartwell.  To prepare, Jody went out to get the boys some lifejackets so that they could ride in the boat.  Thank goodness we tried those lifejackets on before we left.  Needless to say, the whole experience did not go well.  The jackets were super tight, and they zipped in the back and around the neck.  Jody said it looked like Houdini trying to get out of a straightjacket.  Jack had a panic attack; I had a panic attack; Rowan stared, wide-eyed; and we all yelled for Daddy to rip it off.  

Thankfully, Aunt Katie came to the rescue and bought the boys some non-threatening lifejackets that fit so much better and made the boys much happier (or as happy as they can be, surrounded by massive pieces of floaty stuff).  YAY for Katie!  :)

Once on the boat, the boys only fussed for a little bit when we first put the jackets on, but that all changed once we started moving.  

They. Loved. It.

Jack just smiled and took it all in, while Rowan squealed and laughed when the wind hit his face.  They had fun for a good ten minutes......and then they both fell asleep!  Well, Jack attempted to sleep, but he literally kept one eye open the whole time.  

Here are a few pictures from our day.

Jack and Aunt Katie

Rowan and Kendra

About to head out!

We're moving now!

WooHoo!!

Love it!

"And what exactly is happening to me?"

Loves that Daddy

"This is awesome, Papa!"

High Five!

Fun, fun, fun!  These are the memories that I never want to forget!    

       

Moms who always have it together are overrated

Well, it finally happened.  

After 8 long months of a successful packing record, today I made a big boo-boo.  

It all started with the recall on our Nap Nanny sleepers that we bought for the boys when they were having a hard time with reflux.  Apparently, some babies had gotten seriously hurt by falling out of the Nap Nanny, so the company asked us to return the product immediately for a full refund.  That was in January.  

So, today was the lucky day that we finally got around to packing up the boys and driving down to Toys-R-Us in Buford to get our money back.  (Yes, I am very well aware that is it April.)  Now, being the longest car trip that our boys have ever taken, we made sure that we loaded up everything in the house and more so that we would be prepared for the unexpected.  We made it down to Toys-R-Us fine and were able to use our refund to purchase a boat load of diapers for the boys.  Then we headed over to The Mall of Georgia for the boys' first mall experience.  

The first five minutes of our mall experience was great, but then Jody just had to go and ask the dreaded question.  

"Did you bring Rowan's heart medicine?"  

Now, I'd like to blame lack of sleep, recently developed ADD, or a general loss of brain cells, but I have to admit, this is just me.  It's not unusual for me to forget something.  In fact, I'm pleasantly surprised that this is only the first time that it has happened.  Granted, it's probably not the last time, but still, it's the first.  That says something, right?   

So, in case you were wondering, no I did not bring Rowan's heart medicine, which also happens to be the most important thing on the list.  Needless to say, we all turned right back around and headed home.  I'm not going to name names, but someone was a little grumpy about it.  (OK, it was me.)  I was worried that the boys would have an issue with getting right back into the car for a long ride home, and by issue, I mean going board stiff and refusing to sit in car seat.  Thankfully, my sweet little boys didn't mind at all, and they slept the whole way home.  

Once home, Rowan got his heart medicine and the boys played as if nothing had happened.  It definitely made getting over my mistake a little easier.  We ended up having just as much fun hanging out and enjoying simple things together, like laying on a blanket in our front yard.  

Funny Jack

Rowan and Daddy enjoying the warm day

Jack is saying, "This is so much fun!"

There's a smile!

I also have to admit that our first mall trip wasn't a complete bust.  We did score some really cute mustache shoes at Old Navy, and they always say that if mustache shoes don't cheer you up, then there's something wrong with you. See, I'm smiling just looking at them.  :) 

Totally worth forgetting the medicine and having to come home, right?

Cool Dudes!

Last Saturday we conquered our first outing in the warmer weather, so today we decided to step it up a notch.  After eating a hearty breakfast of rice cereal, apple sauce, and some yummy Alimentum, we loaded up the car and headed down to the Tanger Outlets in Commerce.  Now, I have to admit that with everything that we have to pack for a thirty minute trip down the road, I was a little worried that this whole little adventure would turn into some Saturday Night Live skit on wheels.  Fingers crossed, everyone!

Once there, we loaded up the boys in our trusty carriers and headed to the Carter's outlet.  I love Carter's!  They have cute clothes, and they aren't crazy expensive, which is pretty important when you are buying two of everything.  Now, I know that I really don't HAVE to buy two of everything, but at this age, I still think it is cute if they match.  Besides, this is probably the only time I'll be able to dress them alike, because when they get older, I know they won't want to wear the same things!  

We ended up finding some cute buys for our summer beach trip, which included sunglasses, swimming trunks, and stylish "Great-Grandpa Don" hats (my grandpa always wears the best hats).  Now, of course the boys begged us to let them go ahead and wear the swimming trunks, but we talked them into just the sunglasses and the hats.  They were pretty OK with that.......

Mr. Ro Baby Cool

Mr. J Smooth

In fact, they thought they were too cool for words!  They actually smiled when we first put the glasses on, as if to say, "so this is what we've been missing all of our lives!"  We got lots of comments while walking around.  One sweet man told us that they looked like movie stars.....which they are....obviously.  :)  

Before we left we also picked out our first birthday present for our friend, Parker.  His birthday party is next weekend.  It will be our first, so we'll see how that goes!  Hopefully we will do just as good then as we did today!  These boys sure are fun!

Ohhhhhh yeahhhhhhh!

               

Out and About!

With the beautiful weather, Jody and I decided to load up the boys and "expose them to the real world."  We decided to take a walk around the Clarkesville Square and visit some of the neat shops there.  We thought about braving the outlets in Commerce, but in the end went with the less crowded and certainly less drama-filled option.  Besides, I have a hard time with unwanted, germy hand touches.  I tend to think ugly thoughts about others who touch my babies without washing their hands.  (Such as, if you touch my babies' hands again, I will literally spray you in the face with Lysol.)  See?  That's not nice.  It's no fun to have other people make you think crazy (yet, well justified) thoughts.  

So, with a perfectly sane mommy in tow, off to Clarkesville we went!  

First we went to Sweet B's and picked up a few cupcakes (which are super yummy, if you haven't been).  We actually discussed ordering the boys' one year birthday cake.  Yes.  Crazy, huh?  Now, I know the boys are only seven months old, but we've learned that if we want to get anything planned with twins, we have to start early!

Next, we walked down to a new shop called The Wishing Well.  That place is precious!  The boys did so well, and while we had several sweet people ask us about the boys, no one touched them.  Success!  The boys even helped me pick out this cute frame for one of their pictures.

I'm in love!  Perfect!

We ended our day with a side trip to Lowe's.  After putting up with Mommy's cupcakes and gift shops, they deserved a little "manly" shopping, too.  As always, the boys did great.  They were in love with the light aisle, but started to get a little restless on the air filter aisle (or maybe that was me....).  Either way, today we not only had fun, but felt like a real, independent family who actually gets out and does stuff!  

Who knows, maybe next time we'll even try a restaurant!

And cue Jody's hysterical laughter........Now!  :)  

    

Enough of me

Have you ever read the book, A Fair Bear Share?  Chances are, if you aren't a K-2 teacher, then you probably haven't.  Don't worry, I won't hold your shortcomings against you.  As a teacher, fairness is an upmost priority for me and my students, and trust me, if I ever let anything slip by that isn't fair (which I never do, because I am perfect after all), my students call me out on it faster than an Expo marker can get ruined in the classroom.  A Fair Bear Share is a book that helps my students to learn about equal parts and fractions, but I also use it as powerful teaching tool to help navigate some of those very first grade moments, like.....

"Uh-oh.  If you take all of the markers in the writing center and don't let anyone else use them, is that really a 'fair bear share'?"

Or

"I know you really want another juice box, but there isn't enough for everyone else to have another one, too.  Now, that really wouldn't be a 'fair bear share,' would it?"  (Insert knowing, but loving teacher look [here].)

So, with many fairness issues to deal with on a daily basis at work, it's not uncommon for me to bring some of those very same thoughts home with me each night.  

Are my boys getting a fair share of me?    

Before Jack and Rowan were even born, I was very concerned with fairness. Everything I did, I of course made sure I did times two.  A sweet friend of mine, who also happens to be an awesome mommy herself, suggested that I write a journal for each of the boys.  I started this journal soon after we found out we were expecting.  As with everything, if I wrote a page and a half in Jack's journal, then you better believe I wrote a page and a half in Rowan's journal, too.  It has to be fair, right?  This was only the beginning.....

Once the boys arrived, my fairness issues went into overdrive.  Here my poor little babies were laying by themselves in hospital beds when they should have still been cooking away and relaxing in the womb.  I made it my mission that visits to the NICU were always divided equally.  If I held and fed Jack for an hour, then I also had to hold and feed Rowan for an hour, too.  I would go back and forth like that, making sure they each had their fair share of "mommy love."  If something happened and I couldn't give one the same amount of time, I felt awful!  Ask Jody, he was usually the one who had to hear me whine about it at home.  :)

Now that we've been home for almost six months, fairness still plays a daily role in our lives.  Of course, going to work and being away from them for eight hours at a time makes it worse.  It is very important for me to switch off feedings and play times with the boys.  I often feel guilty if I end up spending more time with one than I do the other.  It's during these moments that I can't help but think about their lives if they didn't have to share a mommy.  Would they be happier?  Would I do a better job?  I realize that I can't think like this.  After all, I'm sure this is how many moms feel who have more than one child.  Twins or not, each child is unique, special, and more than deserving of his or her own mommy time.

So, are my boys getting enough of me?

When I mentioned this fear to another very dear (and wise) friend of my mine, she told me this:

"But Catherine, you've given them the gift of each other."  

And then I realized, that is so true.  How many other people can say that on the day they were born, their best friend was, too?  Yes, my boys need me, and there will be times when one will need me more than the other, but they also have each other.  It is fun AND exhausting to raise twins, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.  Jack and Rowan are two very special little guys who have SO many different people who love them.  I mean, even my first graders would move mountains for them, and they haven't even met.  When God gave us these little boys to raise, He knew we'd have the support to help give them everything they need.  

Now it is my goal to remember that every diaper I change, every bottle I fill, every toy I play, every song I sing, and every hug I give, is enough of me.          

   

The Four B's

Sleep (noun)

"The natural periodic suspension of consciousness during which the powers of the body are restored." (Thanks Webster...)

So, yes, as you can guess, sleep isn't something that has been high on my "to-do" list over the past six months.  Actually, it is on my "to-do" list; it just never gets crossed off.  :)  In fact, I keep getting this sneaky feeling that I'm starting to look like a zombie from one of those post-apocolyptic books that I secretly like to read.

The good news?  I'm not alone!  Moms all over are feeling my pain and sharing their own memories of sleepless nights.  Although I generally hate to hear about other people suffering, it does make me feel good that I'm not the first or the last person to ever go through this.

More good news?  It gets better!

Rewind to June of last year.    

Before the boys were born, Jody and I took a class together called "How to Care for Your Newborn."  The teacher of this class actually had twin boys.  She taught us that course material like our very lives depended on, and looking back, they kind of did!  We learned many valuable things that day, but by far, this was the most important:

The Four B's!
*Bath
*Book
*Bottle
*Bed    

When the lady taught us about this nightly bedtime routine, she mentioned several times that this was something that we probably wouldn't get around to implementing right away; however, she did recommend starting it, you know, after the first week home or so.  (Pssssshhhhhh!)

Fast forward five months.

Jody and I are dead tired and wondering how in the world we are going to make it through this.  Then it hits us!  The Four B's!!  Granted, we were trying this several months after the recommended start date, but I'm about 75% sure that lady was some sort of Mommy Robot anyway.

Now, let me tell you, aside from some teething, SVT, and reflux issues, the Four B's have literally saved our poor, little tired hearts.  Here is our new nightly routine:

1.  Bath time!  Now, in the beginning Rowan hated it, but the idea slowly began to grow on him.  Jack has always been pretty chill about getting a bath, so this part of the plan worked flawlessly for him.  After a few days, they both loved it.  They were both used to baths, but before they were just on different nights throughout the week.  In other words, it wasn't a predictable routine for them.  Now, it's a nice way to wind down the day, and if anything, it's always fun to see who is going to get peed on (which is usually me, since Jody seems to have some sort of sixth sense about these things and bolts before it even happens).

Getting ready for our bath!

Rowan, all warm after his bath

Happy Jack

2.  Book!  I LOVE THIS PART!  Now, I've always read books to them, but now that we do it at a set time every night, it is amazing to watch their enjoyment of it all.  They smile and kick when I get out the books.  They actually sit and stare (quiet as little mice, mind you), and look at the pictures.  Now they also try to turn the pages for me, which I know will soon lead to random page turning before I'm even done reading the page.  :)  

3.  Bottle!  This has always been the trickiest part for us, simply because we have a lot of medicine to give the boys at night.  Both boys take reflux meds thirty minutes before they eat.  Rowan also has to take a round of heart medicine at 9:30, and he has to eat right after that dose so that he doesn't spit it up.  Our eating times are right on schedule every day, so that we can keep Rowan's medicines on schedule. It took us awhile to find something that works, but now we're on a roll!

4.  Bed!  Whew!  After a long day, this is something we all look forward to.  The boys still have to sleep inclined right after they eat, so this has been an issue for us.  We can't wait until their reflux gets even better than it already has, so they can eat and lay flat.  They would sleep so much better if they could!  Right now, we are sleeping from 10-3:45 (which is when another dose of Rowan's heart medicine is due), so that's pretty good.  Now, we don't always sleep straight through during this time.  We usually wake up an average of five times during that span (and sometimes Jack will wake Rowan or Rowan will wake Jack), but at least a few times a week we are able to sleep straight through-ish.  I know what you're thinking....you call waking up that many times during the night success??  Well, it is much better than getting up every two and a half hours to feed them.  At least with these wake ups, they are usually short lived and easily soothed.   So, progress!

With each passing day, our sleep patterns get a little better.  It won't be long until those boys are sleeping until noon, and I'm begging them to get up, so I guess I better enjoy this time while I have it!